True Tales from the Temp Job

I'm working a temp job at an investment consulting firm. They basically advise companies on how to invest their retirement funds. I answer the phone (among other things) and today was the best.

Me: I'm so sorry. I tried to lure [name] off the phone to take your call, and he just couldn't.
Him: That's OK. Never yank a man off when he's trying to make money.

Indeed.

I also got the best text ever from my bf, who was practically dead asleep this morning when I left, so I didn't think he really heard my screams of terror from earlier. 

Vacuumed nails, killed bug and cleaned stove top. Off to G'pa's for a bit. 

The bug in question was the most grossest yuckiest of house bugs--the centipede. BLECH ! And it was in the bathtub this morning! I almost died! This is too much adventure for me before coffee!